do one thing, Every Day, that scares you

When I was in Europe, I learned how to push myself to do things I thought I couldn't; to keep moving when I was exhausted, to communicate when I couldn't speak the language, to be uncomfortable. I want to find that strength again. I don't want anything to hold me back. More importantly, I'm afraid of EVERYTHING, so if I can train myself to think of fear as a motivation, I'll be a lot healthier.

• Separation
• Bugs
• Dark
• Closed Spaces
• Heights
• Doctors, Medicine, Needles
• Feeling rejected
• Talking to strangers
• Open water
• Traveling alone
• Disappointing people
• Trying new food
• Going out to eat
• Looking stupid
• Getting in trouble

A lot of these have to do with how I relate/perceive other people. I am just a generally shy and timid person, but when did that happen? Sometime in college, or even sooner than that?

I heard a quote the other day- "What other people think of you is none of your business". I don't want to completely disregard other people's opinions; I know that I can do shitty things, and sometimes, people are right. There's this weird discrepancy, where you shouldn't care what people think, and you shouldn't be down on yourself- but what if you really do mess up? I think in some ways, you have to be aware of how others see you.

But I can't let that keep me from doing new things. And it certainly is no excuse for my fear of bugs, for example, or open water. So I'm going to start saying "yes" to more things, to get out and stop letting myself put up boundaries I wouldn't tolerate from anyone else.

I believe in facing fears.