Growing Pains

I am recently re-evaluating all the bad decisions I've made, the people I've hurt, and the result of all of it. I've been selfish. I've been needy. I've been an attention whore. I've taken advantage of people, disrespected people, disregarded people, and lied.

All in the sake of making other people happy. All for trying to be something I'm not. Not in a "bad influence" kind of way- these people were worthy of sacrifices to make them happy. But I made the wrong sacrifices. I lied. I spent too much time playing pretend for perfect, instead of working through an honest maybe.

And I hurt people. Because eventually, you have to stop imagining a life that doesn't exist, and start facing the one you've created. And now, people are confused. I have friends who don't know who I am. I have family that doesn't understand decisions I've made. And soon, I'm guessing there will be a lot fewer friends to confuse, because they just won't want to deal with it.

But I believe in doing things the hard way.

I believe in sorrys,

and trying again, differently,

most importantly- I believe in acknowledging what you've done wrong, and moving on.