Last Week (and this Week)

1. Moose died; it was a pretty sad affair. I found him early Thursday morning, but everyone else was sleeping so I had to box him up all by myself while Elk moped around. Who knew that rats could mope? But, they do. Luckily Kusz came up and gave me a hug and sat with me for a few minutes before class. Now, everything we do is "for Moose." We raise glasses to him, we enact cardboard houses for him, we brush our teeth for him. Everything.

2. Dumb Boys- I am tired of them. It seems like this is the season for hurt feelings and break ups, and it's hard for me to watch my sisters be sad. I did realize just how much good it's done for me to be single, though, because I just can't imagine putting up with some of the shit that they do, simply because I don't have to. (Although, I keep reminding them they don't have to either, but that's easier to say when it isn't you I suppose).

3. Cardboard Houses- We spent 24 hours constructing and then living in a cardboard house. It was freezing outside, and there were some obnoxious drunk people, so we only stayed until 3:30 in the morning, but it was a blast and a great way to just unplug and get creative.
              

4. Getting in Car Accidents- Pretty jarring, but both of our cars had only minimal damage and the police officer that came to help was super nice. Although now I have to go to traffic court at 9am on my 21st birthday, so it seems like maybe I won't be having a party Tuesday night. Oh, well.

5. The Lorenzo Van Matterhorn- I got picked up at the bar the other night with this, and it definitely made my night. I love a good HIMYM joke.

Picture of the Week

The flood before April reign (which I'll eventually get to).

Also, currently can't stop listening to blind pilot. Hitting me right in the feels.

Dove Positive Image

I think this is the cleverest thing I have ever seen, in regards to the fight against women's poor self-perceptions of their bodies.

A lot of companies say they want to include all body types, but we all know that only extends to a size 4. Even in Sweden, their H&M got a lot of crap for having manicans in size 8 and 10, because they thought it would promote obesity. Dove, on the other hands, has it's heart in the right place.

Watch this.

I believe real beauty isn't retouched.

Favorite.

I still have this issue saved, because this, to me, is what a rockstar is. He's not trying that hard, but he's strangely attractive and an effortless bad ass.

Plus, I just love spoon.

Frustrated.

Currently working on a paper analyzing some 17th century British Literature discussing women's roles in a marriage versus her responsibilities to the world.

It just seems so backwards. In my genders studies class (aka, Early American Women's Narratives, aka, "Bitches who Scribble") we're talking about women finding themselves as an individual with thoughts and dreams independent of their husbands. Even if some of the reading is dated, it's still a conversation that can be related to modern women now.

But discussing whether women were only created to serve their husband? Kind of seems like an already answered question. I'm basically writing 1,000 words on "Duh, women can have more goals in life than pleasing men."

Go home, Dina Maria Mulock. You're drunk.

Small Things.

It's no secret that I've gained a lot of weight in the last year. I'm finally working towards fixing that (currently harboring a clementine addiction mixed with some excessive pilates) but in the meantime, I've just felt kind of crummy about myself. I was so proud of the progress I made over the summer, but this whole semester I just lost control of everything.

I'm not doing so hot in one of my classes, and I've barely learned anything in another, which makes my good grade seem meaningless. I let my health become last priority. Socially, I haven't been making many new connections (can you tell I've been stuck in career mode lately? I don't make friends, I network. ugh.).

I'm a control freak, and dropping so many balls at once makes it hard for me to find the motivation to pick them back up. But I finally decided I was going to at least pick up one, and for the last two weeks I've been working out consistently (although I'm still really struggling with the healthy eating. Lots of Kale, though). Two weeks isn't much time to see a change, and I haven't, which is frustrating.

But today, I stopped to talk to my roommates when I saw them getting dinner. I don't even remember what we were talking about. But after I left, the sushi guy that was making their food asked who I was, because he thought I was cute.

I don't need someone to tweet about how hot I am on BWU Confessions. I don't need people trying to reassure me that I'm beautiful, because that leaves for boring conversation. What I need is to just be happy with myself, and stop thinking of my new workouts as "fixing" and instead as "healing".

But, sushi guy reminded me that even if I'm in a hoodie and jeans, with no makeup and my hair in a ponytail, and even when I feel puffy and gross- my smile is still mine. I love who I am for the kindness in my eyes and the joy in my smile. That's something.

So tonight, I feel good. I can do a half-moon pose, AND an extended camel pose. I can do a low plank push-up. I'm content to trade my vending machine snacks for a smoothie. And somewhere out there is a sushi guy that doesn't care, because he noticed my smile.

I believe in valuing yourself.

Happy Together -Filter

I couldn't decide if I liked it, but now I can't stop listening to it.

Also, I can't wait for Great Gatsby. I love May.