Oh--she takes care of herself,
She can wait if she wants,
She's ahead of her time.
Oh--and she never gives out,
And she never gives in,
She just changes her mind.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
She's Always a Woman -Billy Joel
Oh--she takes care of herself,
She can wait if she wants,
She's ahead of her time.
Oh--and she never gives out,
And she never gives in,
She just changes her mind.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Strength- Picture of the Day
I found this in a slideshow of pictures of the Maroon Wall that protected a soldier's funeral from the Westboro Baptist Church.
I believe in people coming together.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Pride
I'm struggling with the idea of it, lately. Namely, in the Penn State sex scandal.
I say Penn State, because I do believe there are more individuals responsible than Sandusky. He caused the crime, but not the scandal. I don't believe it was all JoePa- however, I struggle with that as well. People say he was a good man, responsible, had integrity. These are values I attribute to my father- and I can't imagine him ever letting something like this happening. When my dad didn't like how students were treated in our school district, he joined the school board and made his opinions known, even when they were wildly unpopular. He did this because he has a firm sense of justice, one that he instilled in me.
Yes, they were superficial things, and much less serious. But doesn't that make it even more important? I can't picture a world where my dad would ever let something like this happen, and that's why I think of him as someone to look up to. Because even when it mattered- especially when it mattered- he would act. The world is not black or white, but I have a hard time with "integrity" not being synonymous with "strive for justice".
But my problem isn't with the JoePa debate. It isn't any one person's fault, but in that way- it is everyone's fault. Anyone that knew should have done more. It didn't have to be Joe. But in needed to be someone. And in that way, it is everyone and no one's fault.
Back to pride.
People proudly beating their chests, pronouncing that they will still be PENN STATE, and persevere, and not let this change them- that seems wrong to me, too. Because something was wrong. Something in this culture made it okay to doubt the severity of children being molested, to hesitate in acting against it. I don't believe Penn State is an evil, inhuman, single valued society. That's a gross exaggeration.
But I do believe that even a hint of hesitation is an indication of something very, very wrong. And when that hesitation turns to inaction- there is a certainty. There has been a perversion of morals.
So to say that they will not let this change them- that seems even worse. We have been privy to a direct example of the consequences that can follow. We have the benefit of hindsight now. So why refuse to change? After all of this has happened- why allow this culture to continue?
I think pride would be in acknowledging what has gone wrong, and striving to fix it.
I don't know the answer. I don't think people should be hiding their heads in shame, and I definitely don't think they should stop supporting their team. But something should change. This revelation should mean something, should indicate some need for a revolution of sorts.
I believe there is pride in learning from mistakes and evolving from them.
I say Penn State, because I do believe there are more individuals responsible than Sandusky. He caused the crime, but not the scandal. I don't believe it was all JoePa- however, I struggle with that as well. People say he was a good man, responsible, had integrity. These are values I attribute to my father- and I can't imagine him ever letting something like this happening. When my dad didn't like how students were treated in our school district, he joined the school board and made his opinions known, even when they were wildly unpopular. He did this because he has a firm sense of justice, one that he instilled in me.
Yes, they were superficial things, and much less serious. But doesn't that make it even more important? I can't picture a world where my dad would ever let something like this happen, and that's why I think of him as someone to look up to. Because even when it mattered- especially when it mattered- he would act. The world is not black or white, but I have a hard time with "integrity" not being synonymous with "strive for justice".
But my problem isn't with the JoePa debate. It isn't any one person's fault, but in that way- it is everyone's fault. Anyone that knew should have done more. It didn't have to be Joe. But in needed to be someone. And in that way, it is everyone and no one's fault.
Back to pride.
People proudly beating their chests, pronouncing that they will still be PENN STATE, and persevere, and not let this change them- that seems wrong to me, too. Because something was wrong. Something in this culture made it okay to doubt the severity of children being molested, to hesitate in acting against it. I don't believe Penn State is an evil, inhuman, single valued society. That's a gross exaggeration.
But I do believe that even a hint of hesitation is an indication of something very, very wrong. And when that hesitation turns to inaction- there is a certainty. There has been a perversion of morals.
So to say that they will not let this change them- that seems even worse. We have been privy to a direct example of the consequences that can follow. We have the benefit of hindsight now. So why refuse to change? After all of this has happened- why allow this culture to continue?
I think pride would be in acknowledging what has gone wrong, and striving to fix it.
I don't know the answer. I don't think people should be hiding their heads in shame, and I definitely don't think they should stop supporting their team. But something should change. This revelation should mean something, should indicate some need for a revolution of sorts.
I believe there is pride in learning from mistakes and evolving from them.
Quote: Love
"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them"
-Thomas Merton
I believe in accepting, then loving, each other's differences.
-Thomas Merton
I believe in accepting, then loving, each other's differences.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
29 Gifts -Cami Walker
From the book jacket:
At age 33 Cami Walker was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and the life she knew changed forever. Then, as a remedy for her condition, she received an uncommon prescription from a friend, an African medicine woman named Mbali Creazzo: Give away 29 gifts in 29 days. Cami was amazed by what unfolded during her month-long journey.
This isn't a book I would pick quotes out of; it's a book to live through every word. It's not spectacularly written by any means, but the message is an important one; to give, and live a life in awareness of your abundance, rather than to focus on your scarcity. To learn to appreciate the people in your life.
The book was just the first step in a movement of gift giving that started with this woman. Now you can join an online community and participate- almost like a "pay it forward" kind of program.
The book is a really quick read, but even if you don't have time to go through the whole thing- I would still urge you to check out the website and see what it's all about.
www.29gifts.org
At age 33 Cami Walker was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and the life she knew changed forever. Then, as a remedy for her condition, she received an uncommon prescription from a friend, an African medicine woman named Mbali Creazzo: Give away 29 gifts in 29 days. Cami was amazed by what unfolded during her month-long journey.
This isn't a book I would pick quotes out of; it's a book to live through every word. It's not spectacularly written by any means, but the message is an important one; to give, and live a life in awareness of your abundance, rather than to focus on your scarcity. To learn to appreciate the people in your life.
The book was just the first step in a movement of gift giving that started with this woman. Now you can join an online community and participate- almost like a "pay it forward" kind of program.
The book is a really quick read, but even if you don't have time to go through the whole thing- I would still urge you to check out the website and see what it's all about.
www.29gifts.org
I believe in giving.
Friday, July 27, 2012
18 Reasons why My Brother is Awesome
The big day is finally here, when my 6'7'' baby brother is finally an adult. In the spirit of remembering to cherish people for the short time you spend with them, here are 18 reasons why Harrison is fabulous:
1. He is so freakishly tall. While he really had nothing to do with that, it is still a very Harrison trait that makes him spectacular. Much like a bumble, he can reach all sorts of high places that I can't, and he never complains about having to get things for his height challenged sister. Also, he functions as an excellent periscope when trying to find people in crowns. He has the best vantage point of anyone.
2. He is so chill. Hardly anything bothers Harrison. We are polar opposites in this way, and it keeps me grounded to be around someone that is so rarely frazzled. He also hardly takes anything seriously, which is what makes him so fun to be around. My brother is a goof.
3. He started accommodating his obnoxious older sister from a very early age. I recall a time when I got presents during HIS birthday party because I was such a brat about not being center of attention. He never made a big deal about it. When I started dating his best friend- he just patiently let me hog the attention, again. Harry just slid into his position in the family as the low maintenance younger sibling, without any fuss.
4. He is super talented. He's learned all sorts of instruments just because he felt like it- he also has a really great singing voice.
5. He reads comic books, in a totally cool Seth Cohen way, as opposed to the creepy guy that lives in his parent's basement way. He also has seen every superhero movie with me, and explains how accurate they are, and who this bad guy is, and anything else you could ever possibly know. He is my superhero guru.
6. Harry is incredibly nurturing. I had some serious struggles going on in high school, and he had my back the whole time, regardless of if the enemy was my peers, my parents, or myself. Now he's friends with a girl with similar demons who he says is easy to take care of, because he had so much practice with me. He has a really big heart.
7. He is a champion pogo sticker. Seriously. He can juggle and bounce at the same time, and that is a serious skill. The uni cycling is still on hold.
8. He soaks up all sorts of information you wouldn't expect for him to know. Harry is really, really smart. Just within this summer, he's taught me physics and calculus beyond what I ever learned in high school. He even tried to teach me guitar. He also keeps up to date on current events and humors me when I try to have family debates about them during dinner. If he doesn't know something- he'll research it. He loves him some knowledge.
9. He was president of the band, and head trumpet player. I don't think that's a real title, but if Harrison wasn't on the field, you would know.
10. Harrison is my music guy. Anytime I need something new, he already has a playlist for me of suggestions he knows I'll love. He also set my mother up with spotify, so she can get in on the music sharing too. He's so dedicated to his Song of the Day, he once called the house when he was on a camping trip so that we could log into his facebook and post it for him. We've had to fill in several times after, because he refuses to disappoint.
11. He lets me take all sorts of ridiculous pictures of him when we're on family vacation. The only exception is pictures posed with stuffed animals, but even that can be negotiated.
12. He is super generous with his stuff, his friends, his food- anything. If you want something that is his, he shares it with you. He has never once complained about the car he never gets to use because I always have it- he just finds a way to do without.
13. He plays Skyrim in french, so he can learn a foreign language. He's picked up a strange vocabulary as a result. But seriously, how awesome is that?
14. He doesn't complain when I try to get him to go on adventures with me, and he's always fun to have around. He's my partner in crime, and king of mischief. He plays the best practical jokes, and loves a challenge.
This is him while we climbed Mt. Washinton. Scared face!
15. He takes care of my dog while I'm at school, even though he really doesn't like dogs and he never wanted one in the first place. He and Shakespeare are fine now, but he initially was not enthusiastic about me bringing a dog home. Now he probably spends more time with the dog then I do, and he never has once said anything about it.
16. He's going to his first choice school! He was torn between Clarion and Westminster, but he chose the one that's a little more unfamiliar, and I am so proud of him for that. He's going to be so good at college, and I can't wait to hear all about it. He's going to have such a good experience.
17. He dresses so nicely! I know this might seem like a silly thing, but a boy that wears collared shirts just to look good- that is pretty awesome of him. He doesn't complain, he enjoys getting dressed up. He also is a really good sport about my constantly searching for ugly ties.
18. He owns at being the little brother/best friend combination. He gives me lectures, but he also keeps my secrets. He gives great advice, from boys to video games to clothes or nutrition. He warns me when our parents are mad about something, and tag teams when I need help in an argument. He gives great hugs, but he gives just as good sarcastic remarks, because there is a time for both. Basically, my brother is an awesome brother, and now he is going to be awesome in an Adult way, which means he will only increase in his awesomeness.
Happy Birthday, Brudder!
1. He is so freakishly tall. While he really had nothing to do with that, it is still a very Harrison trait that makes him spectacular. Much like a bumble, he can reach all sorts of high places that I can't, and he never complains about having to get things for his height challenged sister. Also, he functions as an excellent periscope when trying to find people in crowns. He has the best vantage point of anyone.
2. He is so chill. Hardly anything bothers Harrison. We are polar opposites in this way, and it keeps me grounded to be around someone that is so rarely frazzled. He also hardly takes anything seriously, which is what makes him so fun to be around. My brother is a goof.
3. He started accommodating his obnoxious older sister from a very early age. I recall a time when I got presents during HIS birthday party because I was such a brat about not being center of attention. He never made a big deal about it. When I started dating his best friend- he just patiently let me hog the attention, again. Harry just slid into his position in the family as the low maintenance younger sibling, without any fuss.
4. He is super talented. He's learned all sorts of instruments just because he felt like it- he also has a really great singing voice.
5. He reads comic books, in a totally cool Seth Cohen way, as opposed to the creepy guy that lives in his parent's basement way. He also has seen every superhero movie with me, and explains how accurate they are, and who this bad guy is, and anything else you could ever possibly know. He is my superhero guru.
6. Harry is incredibly nurturing. I had some serious struggles going on in high school, and he had my back the whole time, regardless of if the enemy was my peers, my parents, or myself. Now he's friends with a girl with similar demons who he says is easy to take care of, because he had so much practice with me. He has a really big heart.
7. He is a champion pogo sticker. Seriously. He can juggle and bounce at the same time, and that is a serious skill. The uni cycling is still on hold.
8. He soaks up all sorts of information you wouldn't expect for him to know. Harry is really, really smart. Just within this summer, he's taught me physics and calculus beyond what I ever learned in high school. He even tried to teach me guitar. He also keeps up to date on current events and humors me when I try to have family debates about them during dinner. If he doesn't know something- he'll research it. He loves him some knowledge.
9. He was president of the band, and head trumpet player. I don't think that's a real title, but if Harrison wasn't on the field, you would know.
10. Harrison is my music guy. Anytime I need something new, he already has a playlist for me of suggestions he knows I'll love. He also set my mother up with spotify, so she can get in on the music sharing too. He's so dedicated to his Song of the Day, he once called the house when he was on a camping trip so that we could log into his facebook and post it for him. We've had to fill in several times after, because he refuses to disappoint.
11. He lets me take all sorts of ridiculous pictures of him when we're on family vacation. The only exception is pictures posed with stuffed animals, but even that can be negotiated.
12. He is super generous with his stuff, his friends, his food- anything. If you want something that is his, he shares it with you. He has never once complained about the car he never gets to use because I always have it- he just finds a way to do without.
13. He plays Skyrim in french, so he can learn a foreign language. He's picked up a strange vocabulary as a result. But seriously, how awesome is that?
14. He doesn't complain when I try to get him to go on adventures with me, and he's always fun to have around. He's my partner in crime, and king of mischief. He plays the best practical jokes, and loves a challenge.
This is him while we climbed Mt. Washinton. Scared face!
15. He takes care of my dog while I'm at school, even though he really doesn't like dogs and he never wanted one in the first place. He and Shakespeare are fine now, but he initially was not enthusiastic about me bringing a dog home. Now he probably spends more time with the dog then I do, and he never has once said anything about it.
16. He's going to his first choice school! He was torn between Clarion and Westminster, but he chose the one that's a little more unfamiliar, and I am so proud of him for that. He's going to be so good at college, and I can't wait to hear all about it. He's going to have such a good experience.
17. He dresses so nicely! I know this might seem like a silly thing, but a boy that wears collared shirts just to look good- that is pretty awesome of him. He doesn't complain, he enjoys getting dressed up. He also is a really good sport about my constantly searching for ugly ties.
18. He owns at being the little brother/best friend combination. He gives me lectures, but he also keeps my secrets. He gives great advice, from boys to video games to clothes or nutrition. He warns me when our parents are mad about something, and tag teams when I need help in an argument. He gives great hugs, but he gives just as good sarcastic remarks, because there is a time for both. Basically, my brother is an awesome brother, and now he is going to be awesome in an Adult way, which means he will only increase in his awesomeness.
Happy Birthday, Brudder!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Hong Kong, China
Fall 2013. Hong Kong Baptist University. I'm doing my best to make this happen.
http://www.coms.hkbu.edu.hk/web-orgc/web-orgc3.htm
I believe in stepping out of comfort zones (and continents).
http://www.coms.hkbu.edu.hk/web-orgc/web-orgc3.htm
I believe in stepping out of comfort zones (and continents).
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
5 things I should do less of
1. I hate texting. Sometimes, I'll be having a really informal conversation with someone via text, and I realize how incredibly time consuming it is, without having the ability to really say anything. I welcome talking to people I usually don't get to, but I prefer something more personal.
2. Getting on facebook. I have a serious addiction that leaves me without much of a life to speak of. I need to unplug myself, and start reaching out to people. "liking" a status is not the same as sitting down and having coffee with a person.
3. Late night snacks. I do so well on my diet/workout plan, right up until I work later and it's 10pm, and all we have is poptarts and pepperoni. I need to just have a nice glass of water and go to bed.
4. Snipping. I tend to get a little too sassy without even realizing it, generally to people who don't deserve it at all. Residual customer service fatigue is not an excuse.
5. Getting disorganized in my schedule- my grandparents have dinner at the same time, every day. I need to start eating and taking my medicine on a more regimented schedule, and I think that would solve a lot of my problems. While I love my frequent small meals and my whimsical spontaneity, it's mostly just irresponsibility.
I believe in letting go of things that bring you down.
2. Getting on facebook. I have a serious addiction that leaves me without much of a life to speak of. I need to unplug myself, and start reaching out to people. "liking" a status is not the same as sitting down and having coffee with a person.
3. Late night snacks. I do so well on my diet/workout plan, right up until I work later and it's 10pm, and all we have is poptarts and pepperoni. I need to just have a nice glass of water and go to bed.
4. Snipping. I tend to get a little too sassy without even realizing it, generally to people who don't deserve it at all. Residual customer service fatigue is not an excuse.
5. Getting disorganized in my schedule- my grandparents have dinner at the same time, every day. I need to start eating and taking my medicine on a more regimented schedule, and I think that would solve a lot of my problems. While I love my frequent small meals and my whimsical spontaneity, it's mostly just irresponsibility.
I believe in letting go of things that bring you down.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Euphoria
Having a sudden burst of sheer, euphoric happiness. It's serene, and finally a moment of peace-
And it scares the shit out of me. I have highs and lows, and that's not just a cynical attitude. But a really unexpected good mood often is an indication of some crazy to come.
I'm just going to enjoy this while it lasts, and let it be future Paige's problem. I don't need to turn it into self fulfilling prophecy, I just want to be prepared.
I believe in knowing yourself and your habits.
And it scares the shit out of me. I have highs and lows, and that's not just a cynical attitude. But a really unexpected good mood often is an indication of some crazy to come.
I'm just going to enjoy this while it lasts, and let it be future Paige's problem. I don't need to turn it into self fulfilling prophecy, I just want to be prepared.
I believe in knowing yourself and your habits.
Affirmation of the Week:
I'm reading a book called 29 Gifts, which once I'll finish we'll talk about, but in it the author discusses Affirmations, and I've decided that I'm going to start having one every week. Something to focus on, and meditate with. I used to be so good at remembering to center myself, when I was practicing yoga, but I backslide when I go home. So, this week:
I am willing to let the past go and enjoy this present moment.
I believe in positive thinking.
I am willing to let the past go and enjoy this present moment.
I believe in positive thinking.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Cooking
Something I am not good at.
I have a few problems with cooking. First, I'm picky. There really isn't a lot of variety to my diet, so trying to get all my nutrition is a struggle. You would think with such a small selection of choices, it would be easier, but no- I have the worst time just choosing what to eat. If my mom hasn't planned it for dinner, I have no idea how to come up with something more creative than a sandwich or cereal. Can I cook more than that? Yes. But I don't want to, and I don't want to make the decision. Usually because I'm so hungry by the time I realize I should have had dinner, I'd rather just have a quick bowl of cheerios.
I also have serious patience issues. I am a girl that likes to keep things moving. I hate waiting, and I hate being unproductive. So I don't have time for any silly "preheating" nonsense, which is why I am incapable of making slice and bake cookies. Once I'm finished with the mixing and the preparing, it goes in the oven, regardless of if it took me 5 or 20 minutes.
Then there's just ability. I really don't know how to cook a lot of food that I do like, but my plan this summer is to get better at that. So far I've learned chicken and cheeseburgers, which is pretty valuable to me. I'd like to learn spaghetti, but we'll get to that.
I'd really just like to marry a man that can cook. I can totally picture myself being that person that eats boxed dinners and breakfast foods for dinner week after week. It actually doesn't sound bad at all to me. But I realize a girl needs more than that, so I've been practicing to get as prepared as I can for apartment life next year.
I believe in accepting your weaknesses, but still trying.
I have a few problems with cooking. First, I'm picky. There really isn't a lot of variety to my diet, so trying to get all my nutrition is a struggle. You would think with such a small selection of choices, it would be easier, but no- I have the worst time just choosing what to eat. If my mom hasn't planned it for dinner, I have no idea how to come up with something more creative than a sandwich or cereal. Can I cook more than that? Yes. But I don't want to, and I don't want to make the decision. Usually because I'm so hungry by the time I realize I should have had dinner, I'd rather just have a quick bowl of cheerios.
I also have serious patience issues. I am a girl that likes to keep things moving. I hate waiting, and I hate being unproductive. So I don't have time for any silly "preheating" nonsense, which is why I am incapable of making slice and bake cookies. Once I'm finished with the mixing and the preparing, it goes in the oven, regardless of if it took me 5 or 20 minutes.
Then there's just ability. I really don't know how to cook a lot of food that I do like, but my plan this summer is to get better at that. So far I've learned chicken and cheeseburgers, which is pretty valuable to me. I'd like to learn spaghetti, but we'll get to that.
I'd really just like to marry a man that can cook. I can totally picture myself being that person that eats boxed dinners and breakfast foods for dinner week after week. It actually doesn't sound bad at all to me. But I realize a girl needs more than that, so I've been practicing to get as prepared as I can for apartment life next year.
I believe in accepting your weaknesses, but still trying.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
People Talk
Almost Lifelike (my brother and his friends' band) just released a new demo, called "people talk". I don't know how to link bandpage on here, but maybe he can. Here's their facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/almostlifelike
In it, he and Alec basically announce who they are. Things like, I'm a Boyscout, I can't swim, I cried at the end of P.S. I love you, I play Magic... and so on.
They probably won't appreciate the connection, but in some ways, it made me think of Mean Girls- at the end, when they stand up and apologize to everyone, then do a trust fall. Only instead of apologizing, you're basically doing the opposite. You're saying "This is me, hope it's good enough for you".
It sounds really liberating, but I'm not sure I could do it. There are some pretty ugly things I've done, that I haven't even come to terms with myself, let alone sharing it with others. At the same time- why pretend?
I'm still chewing on the idea, and what I would say. But if you could proudly announce to the world who you are, faults and all- what would you include? What makes me, me? Because I have a lot of pieces that I only share with certain groups. Maybe finding my inner peace is just making those couple different slices of Paige one whole person.
Seems pretty legit.
I believe in being yourself, regardless of the aftermath. (this doesn't mean I am brave enough to do it)
https://www.facebook.com/almostlifelike
In it, he and Alec basically announce who they are. Things like, I'm a Boyscout, I can't swim, I cried at the end of P.S. I love you, I play Magic... and so on.
They probably won't appreciate the connection, but in some ways, it made me think of Mean Girls- at the end, when they stand up and apologize to everyone, then do a trust fall. Only instead of apologizing, you're basically doing the opposite. You're saying "This is me, hope it's good enough for you".
It sounds really liberating, but I'm not sure I could do it. There are some pretty ugly things I've done, that I haven't even come to terms with myself, let alone sharing it with others. At the same time- why pretend?
I'm still chewing on the idea, and what I would say. But if you could proudly announce to the world who you are, faults and all- what would you include? What makes me, me? Because I have a lot of pieces that I only share with certain groups. Maybe finding my inner peace is just making those couple different slices of Paige one whole person.
Seems pretty legit.
I believe in being yourself, regardless of the aftermath. (this doesn't mean I am brave enough to do it)
Grown Up Problems
It used to be I would get so excited by the prospect of new gifts, and going shopping. Lately, my wish list has featured less ipods and fake spy gear, and more of these:
I mean seriously- a digital toaster? So new age! I don't really need one with four slots, but still.
And when did I stop worrying about the color options, and more about whether its bag-less or not? (PS- totally prefer no bag. Vacuuming around a rat cage 3 times a week just makes that inefficient).
I was always excited to grow up, but now I'm thinking maybe it isn't all that exciting. Yes, I can drive and have my own job- but I'm spending more money on utensils and dishware than on makeup and hair products. I guess this is adulthood.
But really. I'm excited to pick out my own plates, too. But that goes back to colors (not to mention, shapes. I always wanted square dishes!).
I believe it was time to move out of a dorm, and into an apartment.
I mean seriously- a digital toaster? So new age! I don't really need one with four slots, but still.
And when did I stop worrying about the color options, and more about whether its bag-less or not? (PS- totally prefer no bag. Vacuuming around a rat cage 3 times a week just makes that inefficient).
I was always excited to grow up, but now I'm thinking maybe it isn't all that exciting. Yes, I can drive and have my own job- but I'm spending more money on utensils and dishware than on makeup and hair products. I guess this is adulthood.
But really. I'm excited to pick out my own plates, too. But that goes back to colors (not to mention, shapes. I always wanted square dishes!).
I believe it was time to move out of a dorm, and into an apartment.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Receiving Help
...is something I am not good at, anymore. I used to be TOO good at asking for help- now, I mostly do neither.
People like to talk about themselves. And even when people are talking to me, specifically with intentions of helping- I tend to turn the conversation towards them, and their life. (The one exception to this is Barbara, who I talk about myself with way more than I should, and never get to hear much about her life). I am excellent at distraction.
I need to not resent people that I perceive to have more support than me, because I reject my support.
But sometimes, most of the time- all the time; I don't want to talk about it.
Me from two years ago wouldn't even recognize me today. I'm not sure if she would be proud or disappointed.
I believe... I'm not sure. I believe I've tried both, and I'm not sure which extreme is better.
I probably believe in some mythical perfect space in the middle.
People like to talk about themselves. And even when people are talking to me, specifically with intentions of helping- I tend to turn the conversation towards them, and their life. (The one exception to this is Barbara, who I talk about myself with way more than I should, and never get to hear much about her life). I am excellent at distraction.
I need to not resent people that I perceive to have more support than me, because I reject my support.
But sometimes, most of the time- all the time; I don't want to talk about it.
Me from two years ago wouldn't even recognize me today. I'm not sure if she would be proud or disappointed.
I believe... I'm not sure. I believe I've tried both, and I'm not sure which extreme is better.
I probably believe in some mythical perfect space in the middle.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
5 Things to Be Happy About
It was a long, exhausting day, but you know what? Those are the most important times to count your blessings.
1. I made it to work on time today; I had 15 minutes to get from Kmart to the Mall, and I needed to change in between- but I did it, and I'm proud. One less thing to worry about, and I feel seriously accomplished, because changing a shirt while you drive and try to eat a meal bar- that deserves some self recognition.
2. I got up early! I used to be a morning person, but then I went to college. I've decided I'm going to try to be out of bed by 8am every morning, because amazingly, days seem much longer when I do that.
3. Because I got up early, I went to the gym and had an awesome workout, which always makes me feel better through the rest of the day. I even tried a different machine than what I usually use, and it kicked my ass.
4. My mom made me scrambled eggs when I came home from work, since I hadn't had anything but a fiber bar and I need more protein in my life. I hardly ever get to eat what my mom cooks anymore, which is sad because its summer time, and I should be taking advantage of not cafeteria food. But tonight, I got a dinner from mom, made with love.
5. I have an awesome discount at BBW, and I buy way too much stuff- but they also give me lots of things, too. Like a bottle of Malibu Heat lotion, because I won the project knowledge drawing. And then the aromatherapy candle was on sale, and I wanted a scentable for the car... so I left with a few prizes for myself :)
I believe in ending my day on a positive note.
1. I made it to work on time today; I had 15 minutes to get from Kmart to the Mall, and I needed to change in between- but I did it, and I'm proud. One less thing to worry about, and I feel seriously accomplished, because changing a shirt while you drive and try to eat a meal bar- that deserves some self recognition.
2. I got up early! I used to be a morning person, but then I went to college. I've decided I'm going to try to be out of bed by 8am every morning, because amazingly, days seem much longer when I do that.
3. Because I got up early, I went to the gym and had an awesome workout, which always makes me feel better through the rest of the day. I even tried a different machine than what I usually use, and it kicked my ass.
4. My mom made me scrambled eggs when I came home from work, since I hadn't had anything but a fiber bar and I need more protein in my life. I hardly ever get to eat what my mom cooks anymore, which is sad because its summer time, and I should be taking advantage of not cafeteria food. But tonight, I got a dinner from mom, made with love.
- Then, for an extra point (5a, we'll call it), we're watching HIMYM together. And it looks like Robin will be going to the mall.
5. I have an awesome discount at BBW, and I buy way too much stuff- but they also give me lots of things, too. Like a bottle of Malibu Heat lotion, because I won the project knowledge drawing. And then the aromatherapy candle was on sale, and I wanted a scentable for the car... so I left with a few prizes for myself :)
I believe in ending my day on a positive note.
BSA
I have always loved the boy scouts. My ex was (and still is) really involved, as well as his family, and I gained a lot of insight into the organization. They do really, really great things, and have the potential to make some great men. At this time, Alec is currently spending his summers taking groups of young men on week long camping trips, where they kayak, rock climb, cave, and repel, among lots of other really cool physically strenuous activities.
If you haven't kept up with what's going on in BSA right now, google it. It's too hard to find an unbiased source, or I would find one for you, but you really need to read a few to get an idea of what's happening.
I can tell you based on experience, these (above) people rock. Leaders of a group can not always serve as representatives to the members- so while I refer to it as "BSA", I'm thinking of those people in charge, not the caring and responsible boys I met at Custaloga Town.
Basically, they are holding on to the original policy that gay people are not allowed to join. Which I just have so, so many feelings about, and after talking about it with our resident Eagle scout, have decided:
1. BSA is a private club, just like a fraternity, or the elks club, or anything else. They have the right to decide who and who is not permitted in their group, just like I am not allowed to join Alpha Kappa Alpha (an african american sorority).
3. I think it royally stinks that a group that carries it's men from age 6 to 18, and then into adulthood, would bring sexuality into it as a certain standard they look for. How many 6 year olds know their sexual preferences? Are you seriously suggesting that they can join, and they are good people, up until 12 or 13 when they become more self aware, and in that case they have to leave? There is enough humiliation and rejection during the middle school years, and so it seems doubly sad that they will be starting that part of their life with rejection not just from their peers, but from the adults that they were looking up to. This part is what enrages me more than anything.
I think maybe it's the culture that I hate the most. I understand wanting to know if your child is going on a camping trip with a gay adult- just like you might want to know if it is a woman. But that's where I draw the line. Because I don't think anyone should be ashamed of their sexuality, and no one has any right judging it. So sure, maybe they might want to know- but not because it matters. Truly, how big of a deal would it be for a mother to take a bunch of boys on a camping trip? Little to none, because you think of a mother as nurturing, and protective. So...why can't a gay dad be, too? Since when was sexuality an indication of perversion? To me, it's as important as gender. It exists, but it doesn't dictate who you are.
Alec and I agree, in the next few generations a lot of this will be phased out. In the meantime, all you can do is continue to act as a role model to show people that you will still be an open and loving individual, and hope that they will follow you in that path. That's what I'll be doing. I don't hate the boy scouts- they do some really, really great things. I think it's sad that they have such a black mark on an otherwise great organization, that I was proud of loving. But I do hope that they grow out of this when the rest of the world does.
I believe in growing out of old prejudices, and working towards, rather than rejecting, harmony in society.
If you haven't kept up with what's going on in BSA right now, google it. It's too hard to find an unbiased source, or I would find one for you, but you really need to read a few to get an idea of what's happening.
I can tell you based on experience, these (above) people rock. Leaders of a group can not always serve as representatives to the members- so while I refer to it as "BSA", I'm thinking of those people in charge, not the caring and responsible boys I met at Custaloga Town.
Basically, they are holding on to the original policy that gay people are not allowed to join. Which I just have so, so many feelings about, and after talking about it with our resident Eagle scout, have decided:
1. BSA is a private club, just like a fraternity, or the elks club, or anything else. They have the right to decide who and who is not permitted in their group, just like I am not allowed to join Alpha Kappa Alpha (an african american sorority).
- A lot of people are confused on the whys of their choosing this- it has a lot less to do with finances (although, Alec said this would be a huge deal), and more with religious beliefs. The boyscouts are teaching men to lead a Christian life [edit: they don't teach "christian" ideals specifically, but to be a member you do have to follow a religion, so no agnostics or atheists], with those religious morals and values. In my eyes, this is just another example of the church's problems with homosexuality. Perhaps we could make an Episcopalian boyscout group? :) Either way, the real issue is that they think homosexuals are bad people that don't apply to the moral code BSA tries to keep.
2. While it would cost more to accommodate openly gay men, I don't think it is nearly as big of a deal as everyone is saying. I realize it would be a change, and that would be hard at first. But there are women on staff, and they just have separate tents. It would not be impossible. I think excluding an entire group because it would be hard or expensive if pretty lame, actually.
- I don't hold to the idea that every gay person is a pervert, and we need to protect the straight men and keep them separated. That's ridiculous. However, gay people are different than straight people, if only in that one little aspect. I don't think that's bad- but just like I would expect special accommodations because I'm a women, I think it's fair not just for the straight men, but for the gay ones too, to ask for separate lodging. They are special, and should be treated that way. My mother always said the most unfair thing you can do is treat everyone the same. I can't imagine how hard it would be at that age, and how uncomfortable it would be, if I had to sleep in a tent with boys. Realizing I'm not a gay teen going through puberty, maybe I'm off track here, but it just seems like it could save a lot of stress and angst.
3. I think it royally stinks that a group that carries it's men from age 6 to 18, and then into adulthood, would bring sexuality into it as a certain standard they look for. How many 6 year olds know their sexual preferences? Are you seriously suggesting that they can join, and they are good people, up until 12 or 13 when they become more self aware, and in that case they have to leave? There is enough humiliation and rejection during the middle school years, and so it seems doubly sad that they will be starting that part of their life with rejection not just from their peers, but from the adults that they were looking up to. This part is what enrages me more than anything.
I think maybe it's the culture that I hate the most. I understand wanting to know if your child is going on a camping trip with a gay adult- just like you might want to know if it is a woman. But that's where I draw the line. Because I don't think anyone should be ashamed of their sexuality, and no one has any right judging it. So sure, maybe they might want to know- but not because it matters. Truly, how big of a deal would it be for a mother to take a bunch of boys on a camping trip? Little to none, because you think of a mother as nurturing, and protective. So...why can't a gay dad be, too? Since when was sexuality an indication of perversion? To me, it's as important as gender. It exists, but it doesn't dictate who you are.
I believe in growing out of old prejudices, and working towards, rather than rejecting, harmony in society.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Arctic Monkeys
I'm on an Arctic Monkeys kick lately. I finally got spotify premium, and they've been my workout mix since.
I was looking up what it meant, and all these people had these really deep and serious ideas, until someone brought up a video of Alex saying:
"That's something [the title] someone said," he outlined. "In fact, I said it to somebody whose chair I moved and I didn't want them to hurt themselves."
He added: "This was while we were in the studio doing the Submarine recording and James [Ford, producer] said, 'Oh, that sounds like it could be like a '60s garage 'Nuggets' tune and be called that. So then we thought, 'Well, OK if that's what you can't do, then what sort of ridiculous things can you do that are probably more dangerous than if you just sat down?"
I believe in investing in new bands.
T Shirt Quilt!
I have a terrible habit of collecting all sorts of trinkets that serve as reminders. And not just cards and pictures- somewhere, I have a broken hilt of a sword, multiple shrivled up balloons, ticket stubs, little plastic toys, pens... you get the idea.
I keep them all in boxes, each labeled for the year. It works really well, because they mostly stay out of the way but organized. However, they're starting to take over my room. I also have two suitcases full of tshirts, so I decided it was finally time to commit to my big craft project; a t shirt quilt.
I really like the last one, with the pieces of fabric just sewn in between. It looks so colorful and abstract! But I'm just going to go with a simple pattern this time, and work my way up to the more complicated ones. I'm working on just highschool right now, and then I'll do my travel tshirts, and eventually my collegiate ones. I have so many letters shirts, and since I've been de-lavaliered I can't wear a lot of them, but I still want to hold on to what it means. Plus, it's a really nice way to make old stuff useful again!
Mine is going to end up more like this:
So right now, I'm just working on cutting out the squares of fabric and ironing them to a thicker backing that won't let them stretch out quite so much. Then, I bring those squares to my dear grandmother, who is prepared to deal with the hot mess that is her granddaughter with a sewing machine.
I believe in recycling the past, so it fits in the future.
I keep them all in boxes, each labeled for the year. It works really well, because they mostly stay out of the way but organized. However, they're starting to take over my room. I also have two suitcases full of tshirts, so I decided it was finally time to commit to my big craft project; a t shirt quilt.
I really like the last one, with the pieces of fabric just sewn in between. It looks so colorful and abstract! But I'm just going to go with a simple pattern this time, and work my way up to the more complicated ones. I'm working on just highschool right now, and then I'll do my travel tshirts, and eventually my collegiate ones. I have so many letters shirts, and since I've been de-lavaliered I can't wear a lot of them, but I still want to hold on to what it means. Plus, it's a really nice way to make old stuff useful again!
Mine is going to end up more like this:
So right now, I'm just working on cutting out the squares of fabric and ironing them to a thicker backing that won't let them stretch out quite so much. Then, I bring those squares to my dear grandmother, who is prepared to deal with the hot mess that is her granddaughter with a sewing machine.
I believe in recycling the past, so it fits in the future.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Future
So, I have my dream grad school and grad program. Now I just need to get through the next two years and be awesome, so that I can get accepted here:
http://www.emerson.edu/
They have an awesome publishing grad program, and I love Boston. Also, it was the college I wanted to go to for undergrad, I just was too scared to move there. Now, I'm not.
I believe in dreaming for the future.
http://www.emerson.edu/
They have an awesome publishing grad program, and I love Boston. Also, it was the college I wanted to go to for undergrad, I just was too scared to move there. Now, I'm not.
I believe in dreaming for the future.
Manly Men Jobs
This weekend, I spent some time with the ex Doug and realized; as much as I want to be independent, and prove how self sufficient I am- just being alone doesn't cut it. Doing the same things I have been doing, knowing the same things I know- I'm not growing or changing. I'm just being me, singularly.
I think of it like learning a language. I can teach myself to a certain extent, but I'll never really be sure until I speak it with someone else. I want to learn through people. I want to build relationships through my search for independence. I need to stop being so stubborn, and start accepting a little help.
So, I learned how to not be this girl:
And can now say that I have successfully changed my first tire, along with learning what all the parts under the hood of my car are. I can find my spark plugs. I can check my oil. I can even jump start my car. But most importantly- I can change a tire.
It's a little insignificant, but also one more thing that I never have to worry about, because I know I can take care of it myself. There is now one more situation in life that I can handle on my own, with confidence. I also learned the value of keeping a pair of tennis shoes in my car. That's really a good idea, and if nothing else, I hope you take that advice.
I believe in letting myself learn from other people.
I think of it like learning a language. I can teach myself to a certain extent, but I'll never really be sure until I speak it with someone else. I want to learn through people. I want to build relationships through my search for independence. I need to stop being so stubborn, and start accepting a little help.
So, I learned how to not be this girl:
And can now say that I have successfully changed my first tire, along with learning what all the parts under the hood of my car are. I can find my spark plugs. I can check my oil. I can even jump start my car. But most importantly- I can change a tire.
It's a little insignificant, but also one more thing that I never have to worry about, because I know I can take care of it myself. There is now one more situation in life that I can handle on my own, with confidence. I also learned the value of keeping a pair of tennis shoes in my car. That's really a good idea, and if nothing else, I hope you take that advice.
I believe in letting myself learn from other people.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Optimism
I wrote a letter to the editor today. Someone wrote a potentially slanderous (I'm sure it wasn't, but my law class isn't until next semester, so I don't know what loopholes there are) about our superintendent, who I used to really admire. She was my Sunday school teacher, until she left our church for reasons I disagreed with her on. Little high school Paige felt abandoned, but she's made a point to try and reconnect, which I regrettably didn't reach out towards much.
But I felt like I needed to say something, so I did. And then I said a little more. People blame my generation, the "facebook generation" for the subtweets and the pronoun accusations. You know, when your status is something like "I hate "you", because you're an asshole", and everyone sort of knows who you're talking about, but you didn't want to be assertive and confront that person?
Holy long sentence, batman. Hopefully that made sense.
Anyway, I'm not sure why, but I tolerate that in my newsfeed, but not my newspaper. So I called my city out on it. The jist of it was, decide if you want to complain or if you want to change a bad situation. Then I followed with saying everyone complains that there is no good news, and only the sad stories get reported. But we perpetuate that by only writing about bad things in our editorials, as well.
So I decided, every week, I'm going to try to write a blog about something great in Franklin. Because I love my city. There are a lot of really great things. And while my uncle does a lot of that in his weekly articles in the newspaper, I think other people need to be following suit.
I believe in acknowledging the beautiful, inspiring, good.
So I decided, every week, I'm going to try to write a blog about something great in Franklin. Because I love my city. There are a lot of really great things. And while my uncle does a lot of that in his weekly articles in the newspaper, I think other people need to be following suit.
I believe in acknowledging the beautiful, inspiring, good.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Everything's gonna be alright...
rockabye.
She's seen her share of devils, in this angel town.
Does everyone remember this song? Because it is undoubtedly my guilty pleasure. I always feel better when I listen to it. Even though it's not really a happy song. It's comforting.
I believe in being prettier when you smile, once and a while.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
TEFL
I've been thinking a lot about the future, and what I want to do with my life. I know that:
1. It involves traveling
2. it pushes me out of my comfort zone
3. Arts, not Science
a. Language(s), preferably
And one of the things I thought of was to teach English in a foreign country. I've done some research, and it seems like Asian countries have a higher demand for teachers, but European countries also offer jobs. It seems to be a growing field, and I know two people that have done it already and it seems to have worked for them! Obviously it wouldn't be without struggle, but I think it could be really rewarding. There's a lot of information on how to do it, so it's easy to find sites like:
http://www.languagecorps.com/
and this:
http://www.teflworldwideprague.com/?gclid=CMGhjLWZ_7ACFUgDQAodCzx_Gg
and lots and lots of others, like this one too:
http://www.goabroad.com/teach-abroad
Almost information overload. I don't know if one program is really better than another, but I'm considering doing an online certification, and then I can do my in class hours abroad after I graduate. I don't know if this will put me behind my peers in the job field as for a long term career, but if the economy is the way it is now, it could be a great way to get a job after college.
For right now, it's just a thought I'm playing with, but I think it's a good idea to start forming some idea of what I want to do after graduation. There's also a center in Cleveland where I can volunteer to help tutor people practicing for their language proficiency exam to gain citizenship, and hopefully I can find that contact again.
I believe in imagining something unexpected.
1. It involves traveling
2. it pushes me out of my comfort zone
3. Arts, not Science
a. Language(s), preferably
And one of the things I thought of was to teach English in a foreign country. I've done some research, and it seems like Asian countries have a higher demand for teachers, but European countries also offer jobs. It seems to be a growing field, and I know two people that have done it already and it seems to have worked for them! Obviously it wouldn't be without struggle, but I think it could be really rewarding. There's a lot of information on how to do it, so it's easy to find sites like:
http://www.languagecorps.com/
and this:
http://www.teflworldwideprague.com/?gclid=CMGhjLWZ_7ACFUgDQAodCzx_Gg
and lots and lots of others, like this one too:
http://www.goabroad.com/teach-abroad
Almost information overload. I don't know if one program is really better than another, but I'm considering doing an online certification, and then I can do my in class hours abroad after I graduate. I don't know if this will put me behind my peers in the job field as for a long term career, but if the economy is the way it is now, it could be a great way to get a job after college.
For right now, it's just a thought I'm playing with, but I think it's a good idea to start forming some idea of what I want to do after graduation. There's also a center in Cleveland where I can volunteer to help tutor people practicing for their language proficiency exam to gain citizenship, and hopefully I can find that contact again.
I believe in imagining something unexpected.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Baraka
I'd really like to see this, but I can't find it anywhere. He has another documentary called "Samsara" that imdb says came out last year, but I know it's supposed to have a showing in NYC the end of August.
I believe in trying something new.
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