Receiving Help

...is something I am not good at, anymore. I used to be TOO good at asking for help- now, I mostly do neither.

People like to talk about themselves. And even when people are talking to me, specifically with intentions of helping- I tend to turn the conversation towards them, and their life. (The one exception to this is Barbara, who I talk about myself with way more than I should, and never get to hear much about her life). I am excellent at distraction.

I need to not resent people that I perceive to have more support than me, because I reject my support.

But sometimes, most of the time- all the time; I don't want to talk about it.

Me from two years ago wouldn't even recognize me today. I'm not sure if she would be proud or disappointed.


I believe... I'm not sure. I believe I've tried both, and I'm not sure which extreme is better.

I probably believe in some mythical perfect space in the middle.