Concert Pictures

Damned -Chuck P

I finished it!

Not my favorite Palahniuk by far. Fight Club and Invisible Monsters will always be my top two, but even Snuff and Choke beat this one out, in my opinion. There was some super interesting theology on death/hell, and you can tell he has way too much twisted fun writing it (in hell, the landscape is all kinds of eff'd up- there's a lake of partial birth abortions, a sea of insects, a desert of toenail clippings...you get it)

Anyway, the basic premise is this 13 year old girl that gets sent to hell after her step-brother accidentally strangles her. She works at a call center that does surveys (always at dinner time), and eventually ends up taking over all of hell through a series of identity crisis-- she was always the smart girl, but in hell you realize you only get one life, so why identify with one archetype. She turns into an assertive warrior and basically takes over. She deals with bureaucracy in hell with candy bars, which is the currency. She defeats demons, and Hitler, and makes friends with people that always lie about why they're in hell (jaywalking, burping in front of company, etc) who you then later find out their true stories, in total Palahniuk fashion. She uses her job at the call center to convince the living that hell isn't so bad, and tells them to look her up when they get there. All the while, she's waiting on her paperwork to process to find out if she really belongs in hell, or if she will be sent back to Earth or to heaven.

Like I said, it wouldn't probably be my first recomendation, but I also wouldn't discourage anyone from reading it. It's easy and fun, and makes for some interesting reflections.

“Hope is something really tough and tenacious you have to give up. It’s an addiction to break.”

“I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful.”

It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities.”

“What makes the earth feel like hell is our expectation that it ought to feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Hell is hell. Now, stop with the whining and caterwauling.”

I believe “The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul.”

Right Back at it Again

A few months ago one of my coworkers had mentioned that she wanted to see A Day to Remember during their new tour, and I told her if they came to Cleveland I would love to go with her and she could crash at my apartment. They ended up not coming to Cleveland, but she was so invested in my going that she bought me a ticket (actually, the VIP package, but we'll get to that) if I would just drive home so we could go to Pittsburgh together. The timing was pretty convenient-- I had to skip my first rock climbing class, but I was going to have to come home for Easter break, so it made plenty of sense to go.

Opening was Chunk! No Captain Chunk and of Mice and Men, which are pretty heavy metal. ADtR gets kind of scream-y, but I wouldn't label them as being metal. If you've never heard of them before, this is one of their more popular softer songs.

So, since we had VIP passes, we got to go in a few hours early and get pictures with the band and have them sign things-- I regret not bringing something cooler to get signed, but the VIP pass seemed appropriate. I also didn't do any fun pose for my picture, but they were totally prepared to do all sorts of goofy things for their fans. They were cool guys.

They had all the VIP people take a group picture (we all got tshirts) and then the band played their new song that hasn't been released yet. So besides all the other VIP people from the cities before us, we were the first to hear it!

The concert was an experience. Chunk! No Captain Chunk! was cute, and a good way for me to get used to the shoving and trampling in the crowd without it getting too out of control. I held on to the bar for dear life, but I didn't make it through the whole concert. My ribs are still bruised from everyone trying to shove their way to the front. No one knew who they were, and you can't really understand a lot while they're screaming, but then after the first few songs when the singer introduced the band we realized we were listening to a french metal band. Then they threw light up styrofoam baguettes at us, and screamed some more, and we all fell in love. Here's a short clip of him talking about their new album "Pardon my French".
(No, really. I'm not kidding. That's what it's called.) 

I don't listen to of Mice and Men, but it was definitely the hardcore metal experience that I needed for my bucketlist. During their set I was baptized with water the guitarist kept spitting at us, twisted into a pretzal, was soaked in strangers' sweat, avoided getting kicked in the back of the head, and had so much alcohol spilled on me it should have constituted as serving a minor. Not really my scene, but I was still able to get into it and have fun. I was also able to shed some dainty flower points, which is a challenge I'll always accept.

Also, it was at this point I made friends with the guy standing beside me who kept trying to shove me out of the way. The other girls we had met up with started yelling, and then he started yelling back, and that got us nowhere, which is why yelling isn't really my style to begin with. I batted my eyelashes at him and suggested if we were going to be so close to each other, we should at least know each other's names. The result was a burly boy probably a foot taller than me that helped me with crowd surfers.



But then A Day to Remember comes on, and this 5'4'' dainty flower had no chance of holding her spot, so I moved to the back where I would be able to see them. They put on an awesome show, even though they haven't released a new album in forever and they still play songs that are over 7 years old. I'll put some videos up in another blog, but it was crazy.

We made it back to Franklin a little after 1, and I had the awesome realization that I hadn't even considered being nervous about driving through Pittsburgh. It was a little tricky getting out of the ctiy, but once we found 279 it was 5-by-5.

This was after I moved to the back balcony.

I believe in crossing off the bucket list, and stepping out of your comfort zone.

Peaceful

This week has been insanely busy- lots of zeta stuff to organize, meetings to run, and stupid errands to complete. Sunday I promised myself no matter how exhausted I got, I would keep a good attitude, and it has made all the difference. I easily could have turned this into an "Oh, poor Paige, she's so tired and stressed" week, but that's no help to anyone.

But I've finally made it through, and I did it by staying really focused. I waste too much energy multitasking on my phone, or with social media, or just jumping back and forth between tasks. This week, instead of making lists I just did what needed to be done as I thought of it, instead of thinking of a time "later" when I would deal with it.

And now, as a result, I have a nice Easter break ahead of me. Tonight I'm just sitting back and catching up on tVD, and making my roommate a mixed cd. We have a speaker coming in tonight-- the Relationship Doctor-- who apparently was the inspiration for the movie Hitched. It's supposed to be really funny, so I'm excited.

So, since it worked pretty well this week and I'm now reaping some pretty relaxing benefits, I'd say this new level of focus on motivating myself needs to keep it up through the rest of the semester.

I believe in positive attitudes.

Formal 2013

He was helping her switch shoes. Precious. 

Little and Grandlittle

My family. Morgan is leaving us soon and I'll be all alone at the top. :(

Grandlittle Selfie

I love how happy they are. They both look so beautiful. 

Littles!

Roommate (and some phi taus)

Big Roommate Picture (we left a space for Deeg, of course)

My adorable roommate/date, at his first ever formal!

The Hidden Hand

I finished another book!

The Hidden Hand (by E.D.E.N. Southworth) is basically a satirical commentary on Gothic Romance novels in the 19th century (aka, nerd humor). It follows the adventures of Capitola, who is a mix between Pippi Long Stockings and Huck Finn. They compare her to a female Don Quixote a bunch of times in the novel, if that helps-- she gets into all sorts of adventures, often related to her either dressing as a boy or acting like one. There's a lot of role reversal going on.

There's all sorts of drama and mystery, which just gets more and more ridiculous as the book goes on. It ends a little abruptly, with the villain dying of an illness and everything sorting itself out about 20 pages later.

"Women always like men with a spice of the devil in them."

"There are some persons whom we can never make happy. It is not in them to be so."

I didn't really keep track of the quotes in this book like I have in others; I fell behind and it takes longer to do annotations while I'm reading, so I just skipped it all together.

In other books news, I am hopelessly stuck with Pride and Prejudice. I'm going to have to start it all over, AGAIN, because I went so long without picking it back up. It's not even that I find it boring- I love it- but for whatever reason, I'm never able to finish it. I'm also in the middle of Damned, by Chuck Palahniuk, which is all about this 14 year old girl who goes to hell, but we aren't really sure why (the running Palahniuk-ism is that she overdosed on marijuana). I'm not loving it as much as Invisible Monsters, but it's still Chuck. Haven't come across any robin egg's blue yet, so I'm waiting for that.

So there is my boring, English major update. I'm going to stop promising that I'm going to get more disciplined with my reading, and just admit that this semester is going to be a slow one in the way of reading.

Detoxing.

If I ever had any question what the measure of my cool quotient was, it's this:

On the Friday night of my spring break, I am dying of a sugar withdrawal, and then blogging about it as to not clog the social media I have over frequented during my long stay at home, which has included a lot of Phineas and Ferb.

Seriously, I don't know why I don't have more boyfriends.

I've kicked a few habits in my 20 years (most of them having been kicked within the last 3), but junk food is one that keeps coming back. Every time I'm surprised by how hard it is-- not just cravings, but how physically demanding it is. My skin hurts, my head is pounding, and I can't move without getting nauseous. I know that part of this is just how I react and that some people have more trouble with this than others, but I also think it's an indication of just how reliant my body is on sugar.

I know that if I did it gradually instead of cold turkey it wouldn't be quite so bad, but it would still suck. Only if I were to do it gradually, it would suck longer. This way it just hurts a lot for a few days. And I've done it before, so I know I can do it again. Normally, if I go completely without sugar (which is nearly impossible, unless you're straight fasting) I come out the other end after around 30 hours. I'm expecting this to take about three days, and I'm almost done with my second day, so hopefully tomorrow things will start to look up.

I'm not even making clear sentences, I know. It's just such a block. Tylenol doesn't help, aspirin doesn't help. I'm drinking liters on liters of water. All I can do is wait it out. Some physical activity would probably help, but it just hurts to move. It's like when you have the flu, and people tell you eating will make you feel better, and you know they're right, but it's hard to convince your body to eat that applesauce.

The nice thing is, I do have some pretty kick ass willpower. I'm stubborn. So when I say that I've gained 25 pounds since the summer, it's because I just stopped caring. It's like a switch. I went all summer doing so well, and I lost all that weight just to gain it back. But I also know that now that I've turned that switch back on, I'm going to start seeing progress soon. I just needed to remember what it felt like to feel healthy instead of sluggish.

So, new minimester to welcome me and new attitude to support me, I'm going to keep this detox up until Monday afternoon, when I can reward myself with some strawberry banana kale smoothie. Then I'll be back on my no nonsense diet, heavy on the pilates and yoga.

I believe in deciding to get healthy.

Spring Break '13

I have a track record when it comes to spring breaks, and it usually includes a lot of tears and angsting and not a lot of fun. This year I got all that out early, and even though our plans to get to the beach fell through, I am still determined to enjoy a nice break. With the exception of a few days in January, I really haven't had a break from work since Europe, so I'm going to take full advantage of my free time.

Work to Get Done:
-Thank You cards for Dance Marathon
-Finish "The Hidden Hand"
-Get all my VP1 paperwork caught up
-Practice Guitar

Required Fun (because even when it's leisure, I need a list):
-Finish "Pride and Prejudice"
-Finish watching Monkey Business (our internet blows in the apartment, so netflix can be super frustrating)
-Enjoy some Chuck Palahniuk (I only read one of his books every few months, because I never want there to be a time when I've run out. Publishing an "Invisible Monsters: Remix" was kind of lame, because now I have to wait that much longer for him to write something new.)
-Commit to watching Downton Abbey
-Zumba with mom


So there won't be much sunshine, but I will get to catch up with my family. Since I never know what I'm doing next, I never know if it will be the last time I consider it to be my home-- so I try to make it count while I am here.

I believe in making time for the little things.

Fictional Characters I Want to Marry: Novel Edition

It's trending on twitter now, and I love a good list. So here are my top 5 favorite characters from books that I wouldn't hate spending the rest of my life with:

1. Miles, from Looking for Alaska- my absolute favorite book, and such an adorable character. He's such a genuine individual just searching for an identity and purpose, and his unconditional love for Alaska is perfect to me, because he understands that she's a moody bitch but loves her anyway. He isn't confused about her faults, just thinks that she's worth it (but also without allowing her to stomp all over him, which would also be lame).

2. Gale, in Hunger Games- I realize he's dark, but I love that. He provides without being overbearing, and expects Katniss to have her shit together, while still helping her pick up the slack. Peeta is fine, but Gale is realistic and makes changes. I love a good revolutionary.

3. Sydney Carton- Practically created selfless love. I realize that if I'm following the story, I can't be happily married to him, but disregarding the facts- I love that man. I'm a sucker for reformed men. And once more, a revolutionary.

4. Westley, in Princess Bride- Obviously I'm in the mood for that this week, so no explanation needed. Just come love me, please.

5. Jay Gatsby- Again, I realize that if we're basing it off the story it doesn't look good for our future, but he's just so fun, not to mention, he stays so consistently in love with Daisy. I think his determination is sexy, and the fact that he makes so much of himself (instead of sitting around whining about how unfair life is) makes him totally marriageable. Also, I kind of just want to live in the 20s.

And, as an added bonus, 4 Characters Twitter Thinks I Should Love, but I Don't:

1. Edward Cullen. I just don't get the appeal- but that argument has already been beat to death. Don't tell me what to do, don't squash my identity, and I can't handle how implicit everything has to be. I get it, she's your personal brand of heroin. We're all very impressed.

2. Christian Grey. I will not be marrying anyone that makes me cower. I'm far too sassy for that nonsense. Sex preferences aside, money aside, even how attractive he's supposed to be- his inability to let Anastasia have her own life is clingy and obnoxious. His determination to intimidate her into doing what he wants is creepy.

3. Harry Potter. I'm all about the adventure, and don't get me wrong- I love the boy who lived- but I never saw him as a romantic character or anything but a hero. He doesn't have time for ladies, and he was lamest when he was trying to figure out that awkward dating phase. I guess I wouldn't abhor being married to Harry Potter, I just think it would ruin how I see him.

4. Any Nicholas Sparks Character- Again, I just don't get it. Too much drama, too many explicitly stated monologues. There are definitely redeeming moments, and I think the selfless love is precious, but they all rely on the woman being kind of pathetic and un-whole by herself.



I might do one from tv/movies tonight, as I'm guessing that will be so much easier. It's hard to just think of books I've read on the spot, especially when the characters usually aren't implicitly a romantic lead. Once I finish Pride and Prejudice I can finally decide on Mr. Darcy, who I should have an opinion on but never committed to making one. Hopefully before spring break, because this is getting ridiculous.

The Princess Bride

“Cynics are simply thwarted romantics.” 

“Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high.” 

"And with that, she dared the bravest thing she'd ever done; she looked right into his eyes.” 


In a romantic mood today. Hoping to find time to go back and read this. 

Woah, moody.

I've been in a serious funk this week. I go back and forth between feeling pretty accomplished and productive (yesterday was a fantastic craft win), and then I just get really moody and introspective, which is less fun to be around.

I need to make a new playlist on spotify. At some point, I'm just going to have to make amends with the fact that my emotions are incredibly impressionable, and there is just music I can't listen to, people I can't be around, and pictures I can't dwell on without getting crabby.

Also, sleep. That's been not much of a thing this week. Probably wouldn't hurt to get back to that, start working out again, take my medicine like a normal person. I've grown in that I can now usually predict why I'm so moody, but I'm still not always mature enough to just suck it up and do what I need to do to fix it.

My go-to song when I'm in a funk (not because it helps, just because it seems like a song worth moping to):

Rawr.

I believe in working out your funks. I just apparently don't believe in doing it now.