First Big Senior Moment: Going Alum Status

This weekend was ZTA's senior celebration, and I officially transitioned from collegiate member to alumna. We have a bunch of different charms that signify different achievements (for example, I have a pearl dangle for being on dean's list) and I am currently wearing my anchor charm (which means I'm an alum). Weird. I also got to do the mother's pinning ceremony, which basically is a zeta-mom initiation.


 In the spirit of my four years in the turquoise and silver, I wanted to include my creed. Sometimes sisterhood is hard, and sometimes the politics and leadership positions get frustrating, but it all comes down to a bunch of women who follow these values. Everyone has their favorite lines, and I bolded mine.

To realize that within our grasp, in Zeta Tau Alpha, lies the opportunity to learn those things which will ever enrich and ennoble our lives; to be true to ourselves, to those within and without our circle; to think in terms of all mankind and our service in the world; to be steadfast, strong, and clean of heart and mind, remembering that since the thought is father to the deed, only that which we would have manifested in our experience should be entertained in thought; to find satisfaction in being, rather than seeming, thus strengthening in us the higher qualities of the spirit; to prepare for service and learn the nobility of serving, thereby earning the right to be served; to seek understanding that we might gain true wisdom; to look for the good in everyone; to see beauty, with its enriching influence; to be humble in success, and without bitterness in defeat; to have the welfare and harmony of the Fraternity at heart, striving ever to make our lives a symphony of high ideals, devotion to the Right, the Good, and the True, without a discordant note; remembering always that the foundation precept of Zeta Tau Alpha was Love, “the greatest of all things.”

I believe this chapter made me a better person.

Murder Ballad

This weekend, BW put on it's spring co-op program with Playhouse Square (I don't know what it's officially called, but something like that). The actors are all from BW, the arts management students do all the business stuff, and it's one big conglomeration of Baldwin Wallace working with our theater district.

Murder Ballad is immersive theater, which I had never heard of before (it's also the first time it had come to Cleveland). The stage was set as a bar but the audience members sat at tables in the bar rather than in a traditional theater setting (although there were seats available that were not immersive). The four cast members would run through audience and so depending where you sat, you could get a different experience just based on which character's face you saw. During the show the actors would be texting each other (as their characters) and would throw their phone on the table, and you could pick up their phone and look at the texts or see that one was calling another. It was very cool. The bar tender at one point made a drink and gave it to one audience member in the bar...you get it.

My video isn't embedding again, so here's a link to the creative team explaining more about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cb0NA2K8tPs

I absolutely LOVED it. The story was basic (love triangle shenanigans) but it was edgy in the right ways without getting too ridiculous. It ended campy, which I always prefer over pretentious, and it was really short-- only 75 minutes (it's a rock ballad, so you can listen to the whole show on spotify if you want to experience a third of what I did).

I believe in taking advantage of cool opportunities.

TBT: Paige and Burt are grownups now.

Burt's been my neighbor my whole life, and since I can't remember a time that he wasn't also my best friend and (slightly older) brother, let's just say that happened at birth too. 

There are multiple recreations of this picture, but I couldn't find them anywhere. I know we did it for NHS inductions. 

Most of my high school pictures were lost, but at least we have these keepers from middle school.

And just like that, it's the end of senior year! There's a much better picture of all of us as MCs, but I think Momma Hines has it.

Burt drove me to school every morning (usually late). This is him taking us to our last FHS event (late, of course), but again, Momma Hines has the only one of us actually together.

And this is from freshman (?) year when I came home for Thanksgiving

Peach and Bird, besties 4 lyfe. 

Learning Dutch

I finally bought my ticket to Amsterdam! In honor of the occasion, here is a Dutch lesson for all of you.

I believe I can eventually learn another language all on my own.

Gone Girl Trailer

I believe you absolutely need to read this book, if you haven't already.

Ernest Hemingway

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."

"All good books have one thing in common - they are truer than if they had really happened."

Happy Sibling Day!

I believe I have the most forgiving, chill, willing-to-reach-high-places, talented brudder a sister could ever hope for. You rock, Harry Greene.

Top 5: Annoying Workshop Habits

I am currently in my third and final creative writing workshop class, and all of these things have managed to transcend through each, regardless of the year, class size, professor, or focus. Workshop classes are especially good character building exercises, because you learn very quickly that criticism is a privilege. Anyone that tells you your piece is fine and s/he has nothing to critique is really saying "you are irrelevant to me and not worth my time."

That being said, here are my top 5 pet peeves for a workshop class:

1. Starting a suggestion with "You don't have to do this, I mean it's your piece, it's just an idea, but you could try..." Obviously, the writer doesn't have to do anything you say. Obviously it is the writer's piece. Creative Writing classes stress that anything that doesn't need to be said, shouldn't, and it drives me crazy when people don't follow that example when they speak. Allowing the author to disregard your idea is suggesting that he or she somehow didn't realize they had the option. I know this seems awfully insignificant, but after you hear it every class, it gets old.

2. Starting a critique with "I always love your work, and I was so excited to read this, but..." or "I really loved this piece, and I think you did a great job, but..." Again, just say what you need to say. Maybe in the 200 level class we needed to sugar coat things, but this is 450. Just give me your critique and be sincere about it. If you really love something I did, tell me, but if you tell every person that you love their whole piece to preface telling them what you didn't like, I just assume you are unreliable. If you tell a person you don't like one of their pieces, it means more when you praise the works that you do like.

3. During the workshopping of your piece, you aren't allowed to speak. Once finished, our professor allows the author to ask any questions, either to clarify on critiques they received or to bring up an issue that wasn't addressed. This is the ONLY time you get to talk about your piece, and it amazes me how many people just say "I really appreciate everyone's input, that was really helpful, thanks everyone." When it's my turn to talk, I have a list of questions I wanted opinions on; did you understand this character, was this phrase too chunky, did everyone get what was happening with this action. Maybe on the rare occasion all of these questions have already been answered, but even when I turn in a piece I love I still know there are parts I will want everyone to focus on. Utilize the class, don't just shy away from an opinion you might not like. Along those lines: don't turn in work that you need to apologize for. Don't tell us it sucks, or turn in something last minute with a bunch of grammatical errors. Respect your class and turn in something worth our time. Be proud of what you create and own it.

4. People that write about dead babies and cancer-- we want to evoke feelings with our work. I want it as much as anyone else. But cancer is sad no matter how its written. Dead babies are inherently sad. I'm not impressed if you can give me feelings because you wrote about the two. English majors tend to have this pretentious idea of their work, that everything always has to be depressing and deep and dark. Its all well and good if you can make me feel for your cancer patient, but can you make me feel for something that isn't already in a lifetime movie? It's easy to devolve into this-- my last piece was an overly cliche father/daughter bit-- but it started life as something more raw and I over thought the whole thing. I could vent for hours about how I ruined what was the first piece I had ever cried over. I understand why it happens, but...just...don't.

5. Don't look at the professor when you give a critique. This is my absolute, number one pet peeve: he is not there to tell you how smart you are as a critiquer, and you are not there to show him how clever you can be when accessing your peers' work. The author already can't speak, so eye contact is really all he or she gets to feel like a present member of the discussion. Looking at the professor the whole time, while giving direction to someone else, just makes you look like a kiss ass. Know that I probably hate you.

Can't Stop Listening to...

A little 8th grade of me, I know, but this is on repeat this week. It fits my mood. Bonus throwback song this week since to make up for it:

2 Week Check-In

Two weeks ago, I found a sister who would kick me in the ass and get me to the weight room. I'm all for cardio, but it was time to suck it up and learn how to use the machines. Since then, I've been in the gym every day for an hour and a half, including weekends. I stopped my night-time munching, and with the exception of Ryan's 21st birthday, I gave up alcohol. I still have a treat now and then, and I'm still eating meals. I promise. (really. I mean it, all you family-shaped-readers.)

Last week I got on the scale and I had gained weight, which everyone keeps reminding me is normal since I'm gaining muscle and blah blah blah... I hate that conversation. I hate all conversations about weight, because as my mother reminds me, it is a boring subject. So this is not a blog about that. 

This is a post about being healthy, and staying motivated. I am not a healthy person. For every vitamin I take and kale smoothie I drink, there's ice cream for lunch or a vending machine dinner. But I am staying motivated. I'm loving the gym, and haven't struggled to get myself there (although I do struggle to get out of bed the next morning). After two weeks, you're supposed to start noticing changes and feel stronger. So I'm going to celebrate my short commitment, and hope that I can sustain it the rest of the semester. 

I believe in committing to change.

Post-College Anxieties

I've avoided blogging lately because I just can't seem to keep a positive attitude. The past two weeks I've just felt exhausted and overwhelmed and grumpy, and while I've been trying to maintain some type of personality my friends are still willing to tolerate, I haven't felt like putting much energy into anything beyond that.

So instead of trying to overcome this weird mood, I'm just going to make a list and hope it all goes away.

5 Things Freaking Me Out About Post-Grad Life:

1. I never joined the radio station. In highschool, I always pictured myself getting really involved in broadcasting stuff. When I started touring colleges, I put the ones with radio stations and tv studios higher on my list and ignored ones without. I never set foot in BW's radio station. The closest I ever got was meeting Bayside while one of my sisters from WBWC interviewed them.

2. I picked the wrong major-- I should have stuck with PR, or added broadcasting, or film. I shouldn't have a minor in communication. I should have committed to a double major. Freaking hindsight.

3. Missing People- I miss my roommates like crazy. Becca challenged me, Deeg molded me out of being a dainty flower, and Tyler was the most infallible cure for my introversion. Not only do I miss them, but it hurts knowing that this time next year I will also feel this way about Kayse and Mitch and Alex and Ryan. I'm worrying about missing people that I still have a month with. Talk about premature anxiety.

4. I don't speak any Dutch- I keep fooling myself that I will find time to make it happen, or that I will magically learn in May, or that it won't matter. I bought myself 3 months of access to Rosetta Stone, but I'm not feeling better about this.

5. HIMYM ended- You know how the 3rd toy story really encapsulated our childhood and how we all felt being adults now? That's how I feel about college and HIMYM. I started watching in college, and now it is over. No more slap bets, high fives, slutty pumpkins, or yellow umbrellas. I need for all my comfort zones to stay put, thank you very much.

My friends started a vlog!

They're still figuring some things out, but Kayse and Ryan have begun their AFI's top 100 films vlog and their intro video is posted. It'll be fun to see how this develops, so 2 years from now we can see how many they get through and how much they change. I even get a shout out, so now I'm giving them one.

Check it out.