I know I've fallen behind, but between California and starting the semester I haven't had a chance to sit down much. Celebrating the weekend with my favorite Disney movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgeIiREvafQ
Also, why can I not make this a video box anymore? My favorite scene in all of disney history, and no one will bother to click the link to youtube so you won't even know what it is. Think of the mystery.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Little Gems from the Comments...
I was reading some pretty gross news articles about a few different stupid politicians that said stupid things about rape, and it was pretty disheartening. Even worse are the people that comment the articles that make you second guess sharing oxygen with anyone outside your house.
But then I found this, and felt a little better. Thanks, random commenter.
"If you can't tell the difference between rape and sex you should consider becoming a mollusk. Or maybe a single cell organism like a paramecium."
But then I found this, and felt a little better. Thanks, random commenter.
"If you can't tell the difference between rape and sex you should consider becoming a mollusk. Or maybe a single cell organism like a paramecium."
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Beginning of the End
Tomorrow (or later today, rather) I'll be moving back into my dorm at BW for my last semester. It will also be the day that my peers start posting their "last first day, omg omg omg" statuses. We started at BW hyperventilating together during orientation, and now we're ending it together by hyperventilating over leaving. We got lost on campus together, added facebook friends that we didn't really know, and joined clubs we would never attend meetings for. We went to MNM events and sat in our lounges because we were told that was how to meet people. And eventually, somehow, we became adjusted. We made a new home, just like we were promised. And now we have to get ready to leave.
I think the best part of all this is that as freshman, we felt alone in our struggles. People kept telling us that we weren't the only ones that felt alienated or lost, but it was hard to believe it when you didn't see it. As seniors, even though we are far less prepared for what will happen, and our experiences will all be different after graduation, we carry this anxiety as a group. I know I'm not alone in my graduation stresses. And for me, that makes graduation a lot less scary than coming to college was. Maybe I'm leaving the country and you're staying in Cleveland, but I can at least count on us both being angsty about what happens next.
For me, it isn't the leaving that's scary. It's the idea that somehow, I will get my diploma and become a different person. I will no longer be Paige Greene, Student, I'll be Paige Greene, Employee. It's a part of my identity I've held for 16 years. I think that's why the idea of grad school is so appealing- it's different, and it's hard, but you still get to hold on to "student." It's like the jump from high school to college all over again; meet new people, find a new home, make a new life. But you're still the same person.
Graduated Paige probably wears a lot more blazers, and hopefully learns how to accessorize. Maybe she walks powerfully in heels, and talks on her phone like she's important. She probably doesn't bite her nails, and I bet she even eats lentils.
Or maybe not.
Changing is inevitable. I will grow up, and have different responsibilities. My makeup might be more consistently neutral, and maybe I'll watch the news more often. But when I look back on the times I really changed, it wasn't the events or the situations. It was the people.
That's why this semester, I'm going to do a weekly challenge to shout-out to the people that changed me. Because I like reflection, and I think people should know when they are awesome. So look out for those in the future.
In the meantime, I've got my stuff packed and I am ready to get home.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Nikita, the Dentist, and Mom food
1. I've been binge watching Nikita, and I have no shame. The dialogue can be a little tacky and the plot is a little predictable, but it's fun and there are kickass women planning revolutions. I appreciate that there can be a woman who is strong and commanding with priorities above getting to her man without also losing her femininity. The CW only has shows with attractive people, so it isn't perfect, but I like that their women in charge don't have to be men in women's bodies.
2. The dentist gave me 5 shots of novocaine today, which was not fun and I still can't feel my face. But I was brave, and I stuck to my 2014 resolutions. I'm taking it as a tiny win.
3. My mom makes the best scrambled eggs. I doubt that I will ever be tired of the nursery food that she makes. She is also the best at grilled cheese (even though she doesn't admit it), pancakes, and peanut butter and jelly.
2. The dentist gave me 5 shots of novocaine today, which was not fun and I still can't feel my face. But I was brave, and I stuck to my 2014 resolutions. I'm taking it as a tiny win.
3. My mom makes the best scrambled eggs. I doubt that I will ever be tired of the nursery food that she makes. She is also the best at grilled cheese (even though she doesn't admit it), pancakes, and peanut butter and jelly.
Bravery in 2014
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
-Nelson Mandela
Friday, January 3, 2014
Picky Eating for Dummies
I've been a picky eater my whole life. Did I choose this? No. Do I want this? No. I was watching a home video of myself from when I was 3 yesterday. In it, tiny Paige is stuck at the dinner table until she eats her peas. I make the most pained faces and look deep in concentration over the spoonful of veggies. 18 years later, it still gave me anxiety.
Food has always been a stress for me. If a boy asks me on out, I panic until I can find the menu of the restaurant online. When organizations have bonding dates, I get worked up about how much money I'll end up spending that could be saved. Food is just not terribly important to me. When we go to my grandmother's every Sunday I just can't work up the same level of enthusiasm, because while everyone else is excited for turkey or ham or meatloaf, I'm just silently dreading it. Food is supposed to bring a community together, I'm told, but it usually just leaves me feeling alienated.
But this year, I promised myself I would try a different outlook on food. I'll eat things I don't like, with some exceptions. I'm willing to try a taste. But I want to go beyond tolerating things, and see if I can't enjoy them. So with that being said, here are a few things that I've found helpful.
1. Do what you can Manage- When I first tried sushi, I knew I hated it. But I took little bite after little bite to try and get it over with (my roommates were holding a new pair of boots hostage). Little bites I could swallow, like a pill, and tolerate. But when I tried to take a big bite like my roommates showed me, I couldn't do it (there's also a really flattering video of me throwing up. proud moments.). Don't try to rush through it and gag yourself in the process.
2. Relax- Most of the time, my issue is the anxiety that makes me nauseated before I even get anything on the fork. I'm not sick from the smell or the taste; I'm making myself sick out of worry. Be aware of the ways you sabotage yourself.
3. Find one way to eat it- I hate veggies. But when I tried strawberry-banana-kale smoothies, I loved it. First I got it with just one leaf of lettuce, now I'm up to 4. Once I learned to like the taste in my smoothies, I tried Kale chips, and I didn't hate those either! Now I'm a huge fan of kale, but it took baby steps to get there.
4. Take your Wins- I hate greek yogurt. I want to love it. But I just find it absolutely horrifying, after my first experience was so gross. But what I don't hate is Chobani Raspberry greek yogurt. That, I will eat, and I'm even starting to like. So would I say I like greek yogurt? No. I won't have any other flavor, or any other brand. But I can keep eating my raspberry and reap just as many benefits as someone that will eat all the flavors.
5. Choose the Lesser of two Evils- the only thing that gives me more anxiety than food is the idea that I will accidentally disappoint someone. I will never, ever expect someone to make me a different meal (my mother would strike me down), and I will never admit to not liking food someone has made for me (with the exception of my mother, because she already knows everything I don't like and just rolls her eyes at me). It is remarkable how many times I was caught at a friend's house saying "I don't care, I'm not picky!" when their parent asked what we wanted for dinner (all my friends knew this was not true, and usually called me out on it). I do my best to not be a high maintenance guest, and that requires me to choose between eating the food, or offending my host. I usually eat the food.
6. Distract yourself- When I eat my greek yogurt, I do either a wall sit or a warrior pose or some other statuesque muscle maker. Then, I tell myself I can't get out of the position until I eat the yogurt. It is remarkable how much quicker I get through it when there's another goal to reach, and usually after a while I'm not focussed on the food, anyway. Bonus points for getting in some exercise.
So, to you picky eaters of the world, go forth! Learn to cook what you like, and to find better things to fear! Contrary to what my parents told me, your veggies will not remember that you didn't like them.
Food has always been a stress for me. If a boy asks me on out, I panic until I can find the menu of the restaurant online. When organizations have bonding dates, I get worked up about how much money I'll end up spending that could be saved. Food is just not terribly important to me. When we go to my grandmother's every Sunday I just can't work up the same level of enthusiasm, because while everyone else is excited for turkey or ham or meatloaf, I'm just silently dreading it. Food is supposed to bring a community together, I'm told, but it usually just leaves me feeling alienated.
But this year, I promised myself I would try a different outlook on food. I'll eat things I don't like, with some exceptions. I'm willing to try a taste. But I want to go beyond tolerating things, and see if I can't enjoy them. So with that being said, here are a few things that I've found helpful.
1. Do what you can Manage- When I first tried sushi, I knew I hated it. But I took little bite after little bite to try and get it over with (my roommates were holding a new pair of boots hostage). Little bites I could swallow, like a pill, and tolerate. But when I tried to take a big bite like my roommates showed me, I couldn't do it (there's also a really flattering video of me throwing up. proud moments.). Don't try to rush through it and gag yourself in the process.
2. Relax- Most of the time, my issue is the anxiety that makes me nauseated before I even get anything on the fork. I'm not sick from the smell or the taste; I'm making myself sick out of worry. Be aware of the ways you sabotage yourself.
3. Find one way to eat it- I hate veggies. But when I tried strawberry-banana-kale smoothies, I loved it. First I got it with just one leaf of lettuce, now I'm up to 4. Once I learned to like the taste in my smoothies, I tried Kale chips, and I didn't hate those either! Now I'm a huge fan of kale, but it took baby steps to get there.
4. Take your Wins- I hate greek yogurt. I want to love it. But I just find it absolutely horrifying, after my first experience was so gross. But what I don't hate is Chobani Raspberry greek yogurt. That, I will eat, and I'm even starting to like. So would I say I like greek yogurt? No. I won't have any other flavor, or any other brand. But I can keep eating my raspberry and reap just as many benefits as someone that will eat all the flavors.
5. Choose the Lesser of two Evils- the only thing that gives me more anxiety than food is the idea that I will accidentally disappoint someone. I will never, ever expect someone to make me a different meal (my mother would strike me down), and I will never admit to not liking food someone has made for me (with the exception of my mother, because she already knows everything I don't like and just rolls her eyes at me). It is remarkable how many times I was caught at a friend's house saying "I don't care, I'm not picky!" when their parent asked what we wanted for dinner (all my friends knew this was not true, and usually called me out on it). I do my best to not be a high maintenance guest, and that requires me to choose between eating the food, or offending my host. I usually eat the food.
6. Distract yourself- When I eat my greek yogurt, I do either a wall sit or a warrior pose or some other statuesque muscle maker. Then, I tell myself I can't get out of the position until I eat the yogurt. It is remarkable how much quicker I get through it when there's another goal to reach, and usually after a while I'm not focussed on the food, anyway. Bonus points for getting in some exercise.
So, to you picky eaters of the world, go forth! Learn to cook what you like, and to find better things to fear! Contrary to what my parents told me, your veggies will not remember that you didn't like them.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
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