Revisiting My Plans for 2012

This new year is going to be full of new, unknown things- which leaves lots of room for mistakes, growing, and trying out my wings.

I'm going to Europe- last time this year, it was a big enough step to go to Ohio. Now, it's my home.

I'm going to deal with the one year anniversary of Molly- I've never done that before. No one's death has ever stuck so much with me, that there will be a day that it's all I would think of. I don't know how that will go.

I'm going to be in my first wedding- I have no idea what to do, but as bridesmaid it's kind of my job to help out, so I'm just going to have to watch and learn.

I'm going to be celebrating holidays with a new boyfriend- somehow, this matters. Birthdays and christmas and valentines day will have different dynamics, different traditions; I'm excited to make new ones, but sad for the ones I'll lose, too.

That's the theme of this year, actually. losing old things, but finding great new things too.

New Years Resolution: I want to be more open, and more sensitive to others. I want them to know they can come to me, regardless of the time or situation. I want to be that girl. Because those are the girls that made such a difference in my life, and instead of sitting around wishing I was like that, I just will be that. I'm the age where I need to stop thinking about what I would like to do, or be, and just do it.

So that's 2012. No more waiting, just doing. No more excuses, just finding ways. I realize there will always be limitations; I so badly want to visit my cousin in California, but at this point I'm selling everything I own, working two jobs, and living off cereal so that I can get through college (to be fair, I'm also getting an awesome experience of spending a few weeks in Europe, so it's not like I gave up everything). Some things will go on the "as soon as the money comes in" list, but the things I can do, I will do. The things I can't, I'll find a way to make it happen.

Along those lines- I'm simplifying my life. Selling or donating what I can. Every year, I try to get rid of a little more to clear out the junk. I think that's important. Not just symbolically- I'm going to be moving out someday soon, and when that happens I don't need to bring my Simple Plan and Bowling for Soup CDs. Buffy the Vampire Slayer- she can probably go too. I already donated my entire Animorphs series to the cutest little boy who I know will love them.

So 2012, let's make a year.