Bilingualism and things that Impress Me

It's no secret that one of my goals is to become multi-lingual. My fatal flaw is that I get too excited on new projects before I finish ones I'm on; as a result, I have 3 years of Spanish, 1 year of French, some basic Italian, and a month of immersive Dutch. None of these languages do I have enough of a grasp of to call myself bilingual, which is why I'm so fascinated by the idea. I feel like when I started here, I had so many questions for my host family just about the way they processed different languages; if they were tired, were they less likely to understand me? Was it exhausting to be around me, and would they prefer time to speak in their native tongue without constantly having to translate? Everyone wants to know what language people dream in-- while I didn't dream in full Dutch sentences, it was like a song getting stuck in your head, and I would have words and sounds and accents in my dreams. 

So, two things that most impressed me/ I was most grateful for:

1) Mumbling to yourself. My host father would do this a lot, and he would do it in English when I was around, which I found incredibly endearing. Knowing that even though he wasn't really speaking to me, but was just keeping me included, was something that you don't really value unless you spend a lot of time hearing a language you can't understand. This same philosophy applies to speaking to animals.

2) Fast Code Switching. We learn about this in every communications class, but until I saw my host mom sit at a party and follow three conversations (each in a different language) I didn't realize just how badly I wanted to know every language ever. It's one thing to concentrate and second-guess your grammar, but it's another to passively be able to listen and jump from multiple languages.

So while this adventure isn't going to end in my being bilingual, I do have even more appreciation for it and am even more determined to commit to a second language (I think I'm going to stick to Spanish for a while, though). 

How to not look like an American tourist

I had a really busy day in Amsterdam, but the pictures won't be up until next Monday when I'm home and can use my laptop, and I don't want to ruin any captions by giving away the stories. So to tide everyone over, I'm going to give some tips on not standing out when traveling in Europe. 

I don't think there's anything wrong with just owning up to your touristy-ness, or that you should be ashamed of being American. I love a good audio tour more than anything else (seriously, I will head straight for the tiny speakers on lanyards if they're available), and at some point you just have to own up to the fact that if you were a native of the country you wouldn't be in such a busy tourist area. But, for the insecure traveler, a few tips:

1. Don't carry a heavy bag- this isn't to say you can't have a big bag (although they can be a pain if you're going to a museum) but you shouldn't have it stuffed full. No one looks casual carrying a picnic in their purse. The exception to this is baby bags; I don't think it matters where you are, parents will always have lots of stuff. So, big tendy bars are fine, but bursting saggy purses bad.

2. Wear sunglasses- Pickpockets look for people that look lost, or are looking around and aren't focused on their stuff. But you're visiting somewhere new! You want to look around! That's why I always wear sunglasses; it's also good for pushy store owners, because they can't tell if you're looking at their stuff. 

3. Find a pace- for whatever reason, Europeans can pick out Americans because we supposedly have a certain walk. Something to do with us being fast walkers. Who knew? But in the 5 countries I've been to, it's been pointed out every time. So take your time and don't make everything a hike (depending on the country, getting onto a train or metro is a different story). You don't want to look like you don't have anywhere to go though-- I tend to get lost a lot and have to turn around in the middle of streets, which I always feel silly doing. On top of all this, carrying a map with you and constantly looking at it isn't subtle either. So I haven't found a way to really solve this problem, other than just walking confidently in circles until you find where you're going. 

4. Be aware of your style- Bright colors, sneakers, and big ugly coats are trademark American. It seems like everyone here has nice leather jackets or a warm blazer. The first time I was in Europe I had this brig blue awful windbreaker, and at one point some guy shouted that I looked like a dumbass American in it. I have since tried to make more of an effort in my outerwear. Also, don't buy city tshirts or hoodies and wear them around town if you want to blend. Only tourists buy those. You're better off finding a university and buying something from them--- although sweatpants are really not a thing here, so the comfy clothes stay home. 

5. Carry reading material In a different language- I know this seems really silly, but it's cheaper anyways and sometimes it's just fun to see if you can blend. I have some Dutch fashion magazines, and it's not like I really read them anyway. But it always feels like a win when someone on the train asks me a question in Dutch because they assume I know what I'm doing and can understand them. It's a double win when I do know the answer and can respond in Dutch! 

If you're really that self-conscious, you can always fake a British accent and pretending your visiting from the UK. If nothing else, people are at least less likely to argue with you about George Bush. 

Au Pair Lessons (or why I will be more sensitive to Moms)

Today, I got to wear makeup. It isn't the first time in the last 5 weeks, but I can certainly count the amount of times I've felt pretty on one hand. And it is amazing how much of a difference it makes.

I totally get (or maybe I don't, but I'm at least closer understanding) why new moms have so many big victories with small events. Having time to myself this morning to feel pretty? I feel so much more like a person. I'm going shopping today, and people will see me and I will exist outside the perception of two little girls. I am desirable beyond my ability to make a Nutella sandwich.

So new moms, I get it. I get why leaving the house for the first time or wearing makeup or a lot of other seemingly small things are so important to feeling like you are a complex and real individual. If this experience has taught me anything, it's that here is a lot to that parenting thing and I will be a lot less critical in the future. Becky Greene made it seem easy, but not everyone was created like her. 

It also has made me really aware of how much work I must have been for other adults-- I so much more appreciate how hard my Grammy worked to teach me that being bored meant you were boring, or my adopted aunts and uncles that always managed to make me feel important even though they were at our house to see my parents (love you Soni, Ray, Dan and Bill!). I appreciate my grandmother and grandfather for how much time I spent at their house, and how well they tolerated all my crying. I appreciate boofs from my uncle peter, and letters from my aunt Joanna, and that my aunt Lori was like a second mother and my uncle Bill always sent the best birthday cards (seriously, I always saved his for last because he is the best at picking them out). I'm thankful for my church families, especially the Baker family, because even though I was kind of a spaz for a while they never treated me that way. 

I have a lot more thank yous from people that helped in the present, and I know I didn't get everyone, but holy cow am I grateful for all you people that watched me grow up.

Almost the Weekend!

Today was a lovely day! It's always nice when I start the morning off by solving some problems, and I had an invoice fromfedex that I needed to pay that ended up being easier than I anticipated. Winning. Then we went to horseback riding, where apparently my form is getting better (I'm still not good at trotting). The girls got a backyard tennis game, so we were outside with that for a while, then Vanessa took us to Boxtel for a little shopping and to stop at a place I've heard about since my first day: Brownies and Downies.

They only serve 4 different items, as far as I can tell (blondies,plain brownies, Appel tart, and something else) and some drinks. The brownies were good but not exceptional, but the whole magic of it is that the restaurant is owned and run exclusively by people with Down syndrome, hence the name. I decided if they weren't offended, I wasn't either.

It was actually the perfect brownie for me because it wasn't super chocolatey and was kind of dry, so I loved it, but I can understand why other people might not be impressed. I'm going to try to go again before I leave, because it was cheap, and in a cute part of town, and I found it all endearing. 

We agreed to make a shopping trip tomorrow to Den Bosch so I can go to H&M and a few other stores, and then we stopped to watch more of the bodies come through. We also watched them load the coffins into the cars (on TV). It was so ceremonial and respectful. I hope you're able to find video on YouTube, but here's a photo from today. It was raining and dinner time, and there were still people lined up to pay their respects.

Honoring the Dead

I can't remember what I've said about this- but as the bodies from the plane crash arrive in Eindhoven (which is very close to me, if you look on a map) they take them through the country and people line up on the roads to pay their respects. Yesterday 40 hearses went through our town; today it was 74. They still only have a third of the bodies. People line the streets to see this cars stop on the road, and in Amsterdam there was a beautiful reception of people wearing white and bringing flowers and stuffed an imams and everything else. It's weird to describe something so sad as also being beautiful, but that's the best way I can describe it. This is one unified country.

I want to stress that as the hearses to by, you can see the coffins inside. The only thing worse than a child-sized coffin. is multiple child-sized coffins. 

No good, Very bad Yesterday

Ok. The first time I wrote this it all disappeared, so well do the short version. 

1- this morning the Labrador got ahold of one of the yorkie puppies and it was awful. I will not give you that image, but it was the worst. Literally a dog eat dog world (thanks, kayse,for the ill timed joke). Christoph had to come back because the lab was acting crazy, and the girls were obviously upset (I tried to keep them from seeing) but it was not a good way to start the morning.

2- I took the girls to this playground indoor camping area to keep their minds off it, and stalled the car on the way there and people were rude. Whatever. Also, the girls make me nervous in public because I can't communicate very well what I want from them. 

3- my flight home had complications, I had to call the company 5 times, mom had to impersonate me and call the bank because my card wouldn't take, and finally I just had to use moms card. 

4- the bodies have started drive though the country in hearses and the girls went with their grandma to watch, but they were in a hurry to go and didn't have time to explain to to me so I could come. It will be happening several times more though.

There were other little things that I cry to my mother or kayse about, but here is not the place. I'm just tired and ready to come home and be done with everything being harder than it needs to be. 

Important News

Hello, blog family.

First, I want to say I'm sorry the pictures still haven't come. I can't get any of my apple products to talk to each other, and the charger still hasn't come for my laptop. I'm just not going to worry about it.

Second, I am coming home next Sunday.

I've known for a week now, but I was disappointed and upset and didn't feel like making it public knowledge. My family knows and a few close friends. This was my decision, and it was the right decision for me, but just like with any job it seems inappropriate to discuss the whys online. There were several factors that went into my decision, and when I get home on August 3rd you are welcome to plan a coffee date with me and I will talk about it then. I feel confident that this was the best thing for both me and the family, and while they are disappointed, they still treat me well and here are no bad feelings.

This is especially stressful because I have to make a new plan all over again, and I'll need to find a job and make some big decisions a year before I expected to. But it's what I want, so I'm excited about it (while also feeling totally clueless). 

Anyway, keep me in your prayers if that's a thing you do, because it hasn't been easy and I'm sure it won't get easier for a while now. Give my mom a hug if you see her. Thank you for all of your support.

I believe in moving forward.