Chivalry

I keep seeing posts on my facebook about chivalry; what women wished men knew, what men wished women knew, what women wished men knew woman wished... I read some of it, ignore others. Maybe one of them is hiding a big secret that I've missed out on, so I will admit to that.

My first issue is the obsession with recognition, which I'm not going to talk about. It goes back to "28 things introverts wished you knew," "15 things left handed people struggle with daily" "10 common problems for hot dog addicts..." Buzzfeed, you are the bane of my existence. Everything is created to make you feel special, and recognized, and read it and think it is SO relevant to you. Congratulations, you are the same as the 500 other people that reposted the link. I'm just going to drop that issue now, because I could do a whole week of blogs on it, but that would be boring. Does every man everywhere wish the same thing for women? Am I wrong to not care about some of the things ALL women wish men knew? Could we all maybe just be unique individuals without gendering certain desires?

So. Chivalry. My take on it.

I was spoiled in the past. My first boyfriend was big on the rule about me not standing on the street side; my last boyfriend insisted I never open a door for myself. I will admit that I like to be treated like a princess, and anyone that has seen girlfriend-Paige knows this. But obviously, none of those relationships lasted, and I'm here to tell you I have a few more important concerns than whether my date calls or texts me our plans.

I don't want pandered to. I'm not going to ask you to open the door for me, or take my coat. I'm not going to demand you get me a drink. It's just a nice gesture if you do. Chivalry is a bonus point, but as long as you're polite, I don't noticed it when it isn't there. I like the nod to tradition with a lot of these things, and that it often comes with a story about how someone's father and grandfather taught them the value in holding a door for a lady.

It's usually not even about the lady; it's a reflection on the guy and how he treats women in general. As much as I like having the door opened for me, I don't want to date a guy that ONLY opens the door for me, and ignores any other damsels in doorknob distress. I think that's what it all comes down to-- is your guy respectful towards all women? Well, then ok. The chivalry part is just an extension of that, not a requirement.

I think maybe, what I would eventually say if I ever got to the point, would be that it's between you and your partner. Maybe what has me so grouchy is that most of the people posting the link are in a relationship, and if you really want your boyfriend to open the door for you I would suggest telling him rather than passively aggressively posting about it online. If your boyfriend already does it... then what are you doing? Some kind of public service announcement for all us single ladies out here? Just don't.

Just... don't.

I believe chivalry is alive and well, and I don't need anyone advocating it on my behalf.