Steps to Making a Hammock

Step 1: Wander around the yard looking for a place to put your hammock. When your father asks you what you're doing, tell him your plans to set the hammock up between two unsupported posts on his very weak porch.

Step 2: Celebrate that your father is going to help you, and show him all the things you have bought in preparation for this day.

Step 3: Read the directions inside the hammock, and recognize that everything you know is a lie. This hammock is not 13ft long, and there are no installation hooks included. 

Step 4: Accept that you cannot put a hammock in the sun, and find a spot under a tree that is acceptable. Get out your fancy bungee cord straps (that you bought because you were prepared!) and tie them to the tree and the random street light you have never questioned. 

Step 5: Recognize step 4 is harder than it sounds, and the first time you sit in the hammock the straps will stretch. You will probably find yourself on the ground. Rejoice that you're father is helping you, and stay out of his way while he fixes everything. 

Step 6: Enjoy your new hammock! Invite company to sit with you so they can recognize how superior your new seating situation is.